#like how can a man be based enough to use :3 but also cringe enough to use crying laughing emoji

[popstart]

Am I the only one who feels like the way this fandom talks about female characters is always so like???? Omg girlboss but also a girlfailure I support women’s rights AND wrongs she was robbed!!!! Idk it’s always the same few phrases lol I don’t get it.

OHHHH I AGREE SO HARD💀 seeing the same 3 phrases used to describe the female characters bc they think its a diversity win. ok.

Female character is independent or strong etc -> omg shes suuuuch a girlboss teehee🙈 step on me. other weird and annoying sexual comments bc girlbossery is sexy (or something) and thats the only appeal female characters are allowed to have for a lot of people Female character is kinda cringe sometimes and doesnt succeed at everything -> omg my silly girlfaliure girlloser shes so sillystupid i love her Female character has dimension -> omg??? shes like a girlboss and a girlfaliure at the same time???

ignoring the fact i hate so many things about tacking on the prefix girl to random shit as something that feels like a negative connotation (or something degrading), there is 0 critical thinking people have for female characters and its like. ok man. people come up with 600 random headcanons and backstory elements for every single male character they like but designate the female characters they like to "oh ummm shes a girlboss so i like her😊" AWWEEESOMEEEEE. LOVE TO SEE IT🥴

and to people that dont see that or say that doesnt happen....... it does. i see it with my own eyeballs every damn day. eg; in fanon noah has 8 (or 9? i forget) girlboss sisters and is an expert hacker and speaks 300 languages and knows everything and makes 0 mistakes and is always calculated all the time and has 20 boyfriends while in canon he got kicked out of the opportunity of 100k dollars because he was reading and hates everyone and plays video games all day and is a massive schmuck for 1 single person that being emma. sorry noah fans thats just how it is. headcanons are fine but it gets to the point where its like hey guys what are we doing here.

and ok whatever. say we all stop talking about noah bc god knows he did nothing to deserve it. where do we go from there? the amount of people i see saying they wish there was more f/f in fandom they just dont wanna write it or people that say they wish they wrote f/f more its just too hard has me :I i think it really just proves how little fanon there is for female characters. since generally fanon is what fandom bases its fanfiction and general characterization on and f/f famously contains only women, it makes sense that if its "hard" to write for f/f pairings it means that people just dont care enough about the women to make wide spread fandom interpretations of them.

and it reaaaaaally sucks. total drama has what i consider a pretty good cast of diverse female characters. And sure, a lot of the time the show doesnt do them justice (they were robbed as many many MANY people say) but a lot of them have so much potential and all of them have at least SOME potential. but ofc, due to how theyre treated in the fandom, no one really cares about them outside of them being paired up with men. and even worse, people will just straight ignore them outright a lot of the time because they 'get in the way of their mlm ship' or some bs.

am i saying its inherently misogynistic to write mlm ships? HELLLLLL no. im just saying that the heavy apathy or visceral anger many many many female characters get unless theyre paired up with a man or because they 'get in the way of' a mans love for another man is quite frankly laughable when you consider what actually goes on in the show. this shit was made for kids, these people are kids. its just so weird just how obsessed people can be with a fictional character to the point of these overblown reactions to other characters of the same god damn show

[sw33t-oubliette]

can u trll me abt them

okau sooo :3

touch tone telephone (song theyre based on) is about this conspiracy theorist guy repeatively calling this radio host to try and get his theories on the radio . it can be read like a desperate love song from the conspiracy theorist's pov (ie "oh, i'm crying now / authentic tears / they flow out of me when i think about you / 'cause you're the only person in the world who'd understand")

starting with my conspiracy theorist . his name is pandora calder . 35 but he tells everyone hes 28 . really into conspiracies and the paranormal . works as a cashier at the dollar store and surprisingly has held up that job for multiple years . he is not enjoyable to be around . acts like if a robot was thrown into humanity and had to figure out how to act like a human and the first building the robot went into was a bar . has no filter just says what the fuck ever . trans guy and bi gay 🔥. hes like a soggy wet piece of paper . hes like the "can i try rizzing you up . PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PL" meme . hes also the guy from soft fuzzy man , hes Mist but he has a human form that he uses most of the time . his hair moves and floats like mist in human form . hes like if william afton didnt kill people and was a little normaler

onto the radio host . his name is laz thatcher . 41 . runs a radio show about ghost stories from people in the neighborhood , people come in and he interviews them about their experiences with ghosts . he doesnt believe in ghosts he just finds what people "come up with" interesting . he keeps denying pandora's requests to talk about his conspiracies on the radio show cause its a ghost show man wrong place . pandora only targets specifically laz's radio show because he has a little fag crush on laz . laz is also transmasc t4t ftw .... hes also the guy from lifetime achievement award , he died from getting hit by a got damn car (cringe ass) and got revived . i havent thought too hard about him in lifetime achievement award so i dont know alot of details about it yet . hes a pretty chill guy , way normaler than pandora . gets enough money from the radio show doesnt have another part-time job . hes pretty normal for now but as i work out more about lifetime achievement award he may get weirder

okay thats basically all i got so far 😁 made em like yesterday so they are prone to change and evolution . thank you for listening to me talk about my Guys

[oonajaeadira]

20 questions for fic writers

Thank you for the tag, @insomniamamma. For the record, I think you write beautiful smut. I appreciate it for its realness and connection.

How many works do you have on ao3? Aw man, you made me log into my AO3 account? I haven't been around there recently because I feel bad about leaving some messages unanswered. Tumbletown is my main fic home and I haven't really had the time to post here, much less on AO3. (Answer the question Adira.) It says I have 19. I don't post there until they're here and sometimes don't crosspost. Mainly I've been posting over there only if I have a complete series, although sorry LMR readers both there AND here.

2. What's your total ao3 word count? 260,317. Seeing as how not even half of my fic is up over there, I cringe to think of what my actual wordcount is.

3. What fandoms do you write for? Pedro Pascal. Which is an umbrella for the actual fandoms contained therein.

4. Top 5 fics by kudos According to AO3? Losing My Religion, A Girl Walks Into a Bookshop, A Rare Treat, The Sweets Series, Eyes Closed, Comm Open. According to Tumblr: Good. Things. Take. Time. (this one's a Tumble exclusive, dunno if I'll ever AO3 that one), Losing My Religion, Dulces Suenos, The Sweets Series, A Girl Walks Into a Bookshop.

5. Do you respond to comments? I do. Every one. I know I'm behind on some and I'm sorry about that. I let that bother me enough that it's getting in the way of my writing and I shouldn't do that.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I don't like to leave angst hanging and only use it as a trampoline for a happy ending, but I guess the closest thing I have would be A Kiss Before Dying and in Death We Combine. Even if it ends in "death," at least they get to be together.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? All of them? LOL. Of the multi-chapters I've actually finished, probably A Girl Walks Into a Bookshop.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Only in passing. There were the mean girls that were kind of being catty over on a few other blogs about GTTT when it blew up much to my surprise (yes, of course I saw all of that, mean girls gonna mean). I remember some comment about not trivializing massage therapists just because I have a shitty back.... and all I could think was, hey. First of all, I can tell you didn't even read it, you're just mad about it blowing up. Not my fault. Next. Don't talk about my back. You wouldn't like being injured and having people talk smack about a piece of your body that gives you pain beyond comprehension, y'bigot. Also not my fault. Once I realized they were just mean girls meaning, I let it roll off and got my own satisfaction by writing a pretty bomb series based on some of their prompt lists that I never would have seen if I hadn't been clued into the smack. Turn that hate into something great!

9. Do you write smut? I do. Not exclusively and it's never the main dish of the story. If it does show up, it's usually the result of a long period of longing and/or feelings exchange.

10. Craziest crossover? I'm not a crossover gal. Every once in a while I'll write an easter egg into another fic (there are several in GTTT), but nothing heavy duty. There was the time The Mandalorian got something of a cameo in a Sweet's fic tho....

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Oh gods, I hope not. That would suck. I hate blocking people.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? YES! But not in the way you might think! @katareyoudrilling did an amazing job translating the first chapter of Good. Things. Take. Time. into a sexytime roleplay script!!!! I'M STILL SQUEEING ABOUT IT.

13. Have you co-written a fic before? In a way. For a while when RP accounts were in full swing, I was falling very much in love with the adventure I was creating with @morally-gray-prospector. That account was so amazing, run by one of the smartest writers I've ever known here, but they were TOO good and poured themselves generously into their responses, which got them quite a following...and they burned themselves out! While my story with Ezra didn't have an ending, I never expected it to. I meant it when I said it to the writer: I'm just so happy to have an adventure with Ezra and every minute working on it was a joy that I will love forever. I'm glad they had fun too and didn't keep pushing themselves when it was no longer sustainable. <3

All time favorite ship? It's Din and Little Bird. Now that I know how that story is going to soft-end, they're my favorite couple of all time.

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will Oh, I'll finish them all. Right now, Branded is in the most danger of lingering, since I have to figure some stuff out with them. But if I could solve the puzzle of Losing My Religion, then I have no doubt that I'm eventually going to get on with that one too.

What are your writing strengths? I don't know what my strengths are, but I like the magic of showing without showing. I like pacing. I enjoy trying to get the characters' voices right and make the dialog real.

What are your writing weaknesses? I am slow. And I make a show of "not following the rules" as if I'm some kind of rebel, but really, I'm just bad at following rules!!!!

Thoughts on dialogue in another language I try to avoid it for the most part because I usually mess it up pretty badly. I generally don't write Din in Mando'a because I haven't really heard him speak it in the series and he seems to always default to Basic even if he understands it spoken to him, so I can't shake the feeling that it's out of character. But Little Bird is a Mandalorophile, so she'd definitely know it and use it. I do sometimes pull in Spanish for Sweets, but it's usually because it's two characters who actually would speak it when Sunday's not around, and even then I try to make sure it's basic enough for folks to follow. The one time I tried to put Italian in I messed it up pretty good, but a beautiful reader helped correct it for me and I'm so so so grateful. <3

First fandom you wrote for I know I have a Doctor Who piece in a notebook somewhere hidden away. And I most likely have a slew of Ranma pieces from my college days. Were there any before that? Possibly.

Favorite fic you've written I have too many. I write really slow, so if it's actually made it to Tumbles, that means I loved it enough to manifest it. Some of them I love because of the fandom, some because of the relationship, some because of the world building, some because of the interaction, and most because of the good time I had writing it. Right now I'm seeing people reading Losing My Religion, and I've had reason to dip into some of those chapters and re-read a little and it's reminded me how much I love writing for the Star Wars universe, how much confidence I have in it. That was the first fic I really wrote, and I put so much of myself into it... so if I choose a favorite, I'll point there first even if it's not really finished yet.

.

tagging: @blueeyesatnight @ezrasbirdie @missredherring @leslie-lyman @prolix-yuy

[chaotic-on-main]

Hi Sky 👋 sorry if I am bothering you 🥺

May I request a moodboard of me levi and gojo?? Gojo and I are best friends; he has a feeling for me but I am in love with Levi and Levi loves me a lot. Gojo and I went on a long drive and I excitedly told him about my marriage to Levi and he looked very sad.

I know it’s cringe please forgive me. It is actually based on what I see in my dream few days ago

Levi x San x Satoru

☾ content/warnings ➼ angst, unrequited love, crossover (jjk and aot)

☾ a/n ➼ hi @notgoodforlife <3 this has been in my drafts for so long because life has been kicking my ass and I haven't been able to get back onto solid ground. but I hate that I've made you wait for like, 4 months. you asked for a moodboard and i got carried away writing this whole thing instead. I hope you're doing well over there, and I hope this doesn't hurt too much. ALSO THIS ISN'T CRINGE. ANYONE THAT SAYS SO CAN COME TALK TO ME INSTEAD OF CLOWNING IN YOUR INBOX. anyway. ily <3

☾ wc ➼ ~800

The jingling of metal keychains against each other grabs your attention away from the phone in your hand. As you look up, you see the sleek black car belonging to your best friend sitting in the driveway of your little home. White hair and a snarky grin, Satoru Gojo was right on time and leaning against the warm metal.

“Where's the grouchy old man?” He calls out, still a few yards from where you sat on the doorstep. You stand up in excitement, making sure to slot your phone into your back pocket before bounding down the last few steps to meet him halfway.

“The grumpy man has a name, you know. He got called back into work and won't be back until late, so it's just us.” When you say those words, Satoru's eyes light up just the slightest bit, but you miss it as you're busy pulling your phone back out to check something.  

“Oh good, that just means more time with me.” He says half-jokingly. As always, there’s that lopsided grin, but it slowly fades as he looks at you carefully over his dark sunglasses. “He's always at work. Does he ever make time for you?”

You're quick to throw him a soft glare at such an accusation. While his tone is lighthearted, it has a depth of concern that you don’t pick up. Satoru knows he shouldn't be so mean, but when it comes to you, he can't help but be defensive. He's loved you for as long as he's known you, after all.

“Of course he does, ‘toru. It really isn't Levi's fault. Some intern fucked something up in the computer systems and Levi is the only one that knows how to fix it.” At this point, you're sitting in your friend's passenger seat and buckled in. You run your fingers over the soft velvet that lines the door of his car.

Satoru always had nice things - car included. That's one of the perks of being a child to a decently wealthy family. But he was never showy with his possessions, and you liked him for that. If only you knew that you were the one thing he couldn't call his.

“Well, I sure hope they're paying him enough. Sounds like he's irreplaceable.” Your friend mutters as he puts the car in reverse and slides down the driveway.

“You have no idea.”

“The venue is down Main, right?” Satoru checks his mirrors before fully pulling out onto the mostly vacant street.

“Yeah. You know, I heard it was a sold-out show.” You pull your phone out to check a few notifications that popped up.

One was a text from Levi, apologizing once again that he had to pull out at the last minute and would make it up to you as soon as he could. He was always good on his promises so you can't help but smile at the date he has planned in the near future.

While your hand holds up your phone, Satoru notices yet again the shining bright stone that sits pretty on your left ring finger. It sparkles brilliantly against the orange setting sun. His smile doesn't fade but it wavers.

When you told him the news a few months back, he made sure to show up as the best friend he is. Oh, how you squealed in delight at him, telling him all the details of the proposal Levi had planned and what you already want from your wedding.

How you wanted Satoru there as your maid of honor to which you laughed right after, saying that you don’t have to wear a dress. You mistook his wide eyes as shock to the maid of honor demand instead of what it really was - heartbreak.

His heart had shattered into a million pieces despite the million-dollar grin he threw your way. You weren't aware of how he felt for you, and you never would. Satoru only wanted you to be happy, and it seemed that you were.

As he glanced at the ring and back up to the road, he couldn't help imagining what it would be like to have you wearing a ring he had picked out. How would he have proposed to you, he wonders. Would you still want the same things for this pretend wedding, or would it be completely different?

“’Toru?” You ask, breaking him out of his thoughts. Bright blue eyes shift in your direction at the sudden call out, and he grins over to you.

“Yes?”

“Are you okay?”

“Never better. Now let's get some tunes going, yeah?” That cocky grin of his made you laugh as you nod in agreement.

No, he doesn't need to think about these “what ifs". Pain is nothing new to him, and he would survive this one.

[wcwick66]

Afternoon Tea

a friendly chat <3 [so disorganized but very excited] [[unedited. uuunnnedddiittteedd]]

I email my guitar teacher every week like clockwork, but he does occasionally get a couple more emails in when I don't quite notice. He's a lovely man, truly, and today I got to tell him - as my self proclaimed father, that I want to be In Showbiz. In very concise terms.

I told him I in effect was going to become Dr. Teeth and create the Electric Mayhem around me.

I am so serious.

I recently came across a website and a project that launched me down a rabbit hole of excitement and despair, and I've arrived on the other side covered in dirt to scream in your ear because you happen to be here that I am going to be a professional artist.

In about eight million different ways.

Hear me out!

I adore many things and started this blog to showcase my journey as an artist. A writer yes, but an artist most and writing is art and I will die on this hill, mother!

Cringe aside, I love how my mental crap allows me to create. What doors it opens to the horrors and beauty of what my hands can pull together. My brain weirdness also means that patterns [math] once I understand it, ends up actually fueling more creativity.

The project is from a guy who used to work at Jim Henson's Creature Shop. I think that's what it's called. It's where the puppets are designed, and this guy makes OPEN SOURCE [open tech? I am SO new to this part of robotics and this term] animatronics KITS so you can make your own puppets at home. As far as I know because I spent an honest five minutes looking at it through eyes of wow cool before immediately trying to refigure out how robots and animatronics even work.

A day later and I'm essentially re teaching myself math so I can understand the complete arsenal of robotics, electrical engineering, and physics information I now have so I can complete my first companion for my new band!

I already have my costume and I'm going to be working on finishing a musical album that has no description other than maybe micropop x midwest emo x opera.

My band is going to be me, four large animatronics, and two smaller robots that exist as my little dancers. When it isn't us, I'm going to put on plays based on stories I write, and play music live while a combo cast of unseen people and large scale puppets perform.

I live in an area where doing something like this might actually be a lot of fun for bored people, and I think we could be funny!

One day it might be nice to make a show or movie for YouTube or something, but I'm most excited about my animuppet band.

I'm basically going to record my songs in parts and edit and program them into the animatronics so I can have backup vocals, and I have all the instruments I need to do this thanks to the *years* of hours and effort put into saving up and getting them one at a time.

Writing is still my comfy passion, but music pushes so many other parts of my brain that feed back into writing that I feel I can do both. I want to be happy, and I think even just me and one seated swaying animatronic with a tambourine would be cute enough to get a $5 ticket at some point. I'd want to do free shows first because I am terrified and I haven't been on a massive public stage since I was about fourteen. So eight years of absolutely not performing for anyone. Spooky!

I need to come up with a name for my band, and what I'm going to call my style of puppet and animatronic. I'm excited to make sketches and little stories because these characters have my whole heart!

I can't wait for you all to meet us <3

[harapeveco]

I read your anime recommendations and thought,,, wow, she really didn't lie when she said she had shitty taste, but then I saw you mention NATSUME!! You redeemed yourself with this one, it's absolutely fenomenal, my favourite anime of all time and I just can't stress enough how much I love it. It's over 70 episodes + a movie but I rewatched it 3 times, don't regret anything. Did you know that season 7 was announced?? After 6 years??? I'm so happy I thought they forgot about it!!!

Also I thought I was the only person who's seen the Chuunibyou one. I only watched it because it was loosely based on a vocaloid song of the same title and curiosity took the best of me but it was surprisingly good!

In the second half you also listed some really good shows like Sasamiya, Dr. Stone, Kiss him not me or Horimiya so I think I can say your taste isn't as bad as you consider it to be!!

Have you seen Given? I think you'd like it based of what you've recommended. It's cute, gay, gets pretty emotional and has really good music. One of the main characters might seem annoying, but personally I could connect with him in a way? It's just that he has this main personality trait that isn't really anything new in anime and people might not like it but it was the first time I've seen it being done right. He feels how I feel a lot of the time and idk, I might just be weird but he became my comfort character because of it.

Sorry for the long rant! I'd love to hear about more if your favourite shows!!

“Wow she really didn’t lie when she said she had shitty taste” 😭😭😭😭 BESTIE COME ON

Anyway yes!!! I knew about the natsume new season!!!! I have a bestie who is obsessed with natsume as much as I am. I remember the 6th season came out while I was still in high school and I would watch it during class with the school’s internet and like GOD every episode is a master piece I love that show so much I rewatch episodes randomly every once in a while, mostly the Shigeru and Touko one that one makes me SOB 😭😭😭

Chunnibyou I also watched it bc of the song I listened to the atr version of it and I thought it was dumb but I wasn’t expecting it to be as funny as it was. Like the main character being all into super heroes and wanting to be a super hero just to show how stupid that is and the fact that characters is voiced BY DEKU HIMSELF makes it all so poetic. The guy who believes he’s a demon or whatever getting a gf who plays along his delusions? Absolutely great. The guy obsessed with 2D girls? Somehow he’s the most normal. Catboy who edgy as fuck with a shit ton of sisters who are mean to him? Hilarious. Cringe ass Utaite guy? I feel like they could have done more with him but he was funny when he was his Utaite persona. I’m also impressed the girl who was really the straight man in all this wasn’t boring at all I was worried bc in shows like these girls tend to be just boring and tell them to stop and even if she sometimes did she would indulge in the madness so I think that was refreshing to see. Pls everyone give Chuuibyou Gekihatsu Boy a chance!

Sasaki to Miyano is so good 😭😭😭 goes a little slow to me but I got used to it after a while and the payoff is really good. Dr.Stone goat all I can say is that if you need a reason to watch it that reason should be Asagiri Gen his bitchass assholness really makes the show for me (also the science is actually pretty fun). Kiss him not me I don’t remember anything about it honestly except an episode where they fight over a ship name which I’ve seen enough in fandom spaces so like relatable and horimiya…..horimiya is so good pls everyone go watch it 😭😭😭 I would die for them holy shit like the most realistic interpretation of love and relationships I’ve seen. The drama is very ground in reality too like the one you see is not unnecessary or used to fuck them over it’s just so good!

Oh yeh I watched Given! I have pretty shit memory so I forgot to include it but I left it only at season one and didn’t bother to watch the movie (was there a movie right?) bc it focuses on Haru and the other guy and like they seemed boring to me I only cared about Mafuyu and Uenoyama and I got what I wanted out of them so I’m pleased with what I got uwu also did you know the mangaka used to write Haikyuu Doujinshi? That’s why Mafuyu and Uenoyama have that very familiar color scheme LMAO good stuff good stuff

I have more shows I like but right I can’t think of any of them (I am very much sleepy rn brain is not functioning) but yeh

[beardedhandstoadshark]

formal invitation to drop a stupid amount of oc lore, if you’re so inclined! 😳😳

THANK YOU BUT ALSO I’m gonna have to tell you a secret, c’mere

…

I have no idea what I‘m doing with the lore

Ignoring anything related to character traits and such, The short version is:

Red: 23, ex-Hero, quit being one 2y ago, got her current scarf back then, dipped because of expectations she couldn’t/didn’t wanna meet, got a grandpa, still helps out anyone who asks.

Deniz: 20, resident from a small village set on a bunch of super high and windy cliffs, only one with complete (and functioning) family, good at sailing, left because of the sameness of each day becoming unbearable.

Mage: 23, magic merchant man, aka merchant for antiques, relics, and standard rpg shop stuff. Really good at dark magic, went way too far with it once and it tinted his eyes green, emotional attachment to scarf because of missing/probably dead friend, gold thingy in hair helps detect magic, =) is his default face (on purpose).

Yel: 24, not his actual name but a nickname from Mage, couldn’t follow his dream so he became the next best thing aka delivering stuff to hard-to-reach places, only-child with 2 parents, very good at outside stuff and basic medic things, :| is his default face (not on purpose).

Violet: 19, royalty, gifted child syndrome/burnout, really high light magic potential but it tends to be unstable/uncontrolled, was pretty much playing Rapunzel locked in her tower because of that, lots of siblings, has at least one abduction/attempted sacrificing behind her because being op + locked up + other family related stuff = rumors about her being able to bring forth the apocalypse.

And then there’s a bunch of smaller oc‘s I don’t really actively "use“ aside from maybe a drawing here or there.

(If that’s all you wanna know, you can stop reading here)

The WORLD started out as/ is mostly still just "fantasy rpg but the internet is a thing“ feat. Light/Dark based magic. So it’s every fantasy setting ever but they’ve got phone signals and stuff. If it ever comes up, currency will be called El because the implications of the European Union or US or whatever existing here are kinda funny but not something I wanna deal with XD Cent is still Cent tho, that one‘s universal enough to work since it’s just derived from the word for 100. There may or may not also be a corruption infestation thing going on. Jury‘s still out on that one (as in, idk if I wanna go that far with the setting, but it’d at least fit with whatever the heck is going on in Red‘s lore).

For Magic, Light is basically giving energy to the surrounding while Dark is taking it away. So stuff like fire and ice is also part of light and dark. Because of that, light works best in dark/cold places (lots of area to brighten/heat up; you can only see stars during the night) and dark when its well lit/warm (needs light to cast shadows, lots of stuff to absorb). If someone uses too much of it over a short period of time, it can have lasting effects, usually first noticeable by a change of eye color. (Light = cold, light tones, dark = warm, Dark tones)

(YOU CAN STOP READING HERE, REALLY)

But if not…the long version:

it keeps changing. A lot. To the point where, as of right now, they kinda don’t…have any lore? Because I‘ve essentially been throwing everything I had out of the window/got the feeling whatever‘s going on is too cringe/cliche.

Red‘s is currently the most…stable, I guess?

Did the classic "go on an adventure to save the kidnapped princess/world“ thing 2-3 years ago, because of that was knighted and officially recognized as The HeroTM (and given her current green scarf), but went into "hiding" shortly after cuz everyone had these ridiculously high expectations of what/how The Hero should do/act that she couldn’t live up to or started treating her differently, + didn’t feel like only standing there as a real life attraction could help anyone.

So Red essentially quit, and went home helping people and adventuring from there. And then ran into Violet, which happened shortly before where the timeline’s currently at. The two bells on a string acting as a second hair tie have been in her possession since childhood, and act as a good luck charm. Has a grandpa, + I‘m thinking about adding a sibling. (Also may or may not be able to hear music fitting the vibe of whatever place she’s in- still not sure about that one). That original concept still applies more or less. But as for the other oc’s…oof.

Deniz and Yel both don’t have. Much going on?

Yel isn’t his actual name but a nickname he got from Mage because his bag + hair is Yellow and his voice can be incredibly loud if he wants to. Also I just couldn’t find a fitting name. His dream had always been becoming a Ranger, but due to various things including severe shortsightedness and dumb rules, never got to fulfill it. (Outside of some basic training).Therefore became the next-best thing that‘d allow him to still be frequently outside and not be glued in a single place too much to at least sometimes take paths through forests- which was becoming a postman. Specifically for special deliveries and places that can’t be easily reached. So it’s…more of a courier thing, really?

Which is also how he came to know a lot people, including Red for kinda becoming her personal mailman during that whole adventure thing, the usual deliverer for Mage’s shop stuff, and normal post for Deniz. Without knowing it himself, is actually rather well known as the mailman guy. Got a decent grasp on first aid from that basic training. Animal and health nerd. Good at foraging. Got no siblings but 2 very precious parents (I have yet to design in any way, if at all). Ridiculous constitution. Aaaand that’s about it. Probably the most realistic but compared to all the cool oc’s people have on here idk if it’s interesting?

Deniz is even worse. His whole deal is "npc joined the party“. He‘s literally just some guy from a small village built at the top of a bunch of very windy cliffs (hence why Yel delivers stuff to them because it’s kinda hard to reach otherwise). Originally he was just supposed to be concept villager for said place, which was an idea for what a beach village would look like if the ocean didn’t just rise a bit with the tides in daily cycles but like 40m in a year. (Insert funky microclimate reasons here).

It’s still visible in the attempted beach theme in his design and name, as it means ocean (+ it’s the only one not a color pun so that’s nice). Also he‘s good at sailing because it’s the main way of reaching other places during flood. As well as handing ropes. Met Red during her travels, helped out when she needed a ride later, and decided to stick around because of exploring/curiosity/felt trapped in the circle of doing the same things everyday. Got a bunch of family, and the only one who could do a complete "holiday dinner with the whole family at grandma’s“ thing. Most of his stuff is character-based and not background lore things though. Yeaaaaaa.

Then with Mage, his present appearance is pretty clear, but the background isn’t. Merchant for antiques, relics, and standard rpg shop stuff. Really good with dark magic. Like, that one’s solid. Then it gets a bit goofy. Used to have blue eyes, but overusage of magic over a period of time tinted them permanently green now. Originally became a traveling merchant when he was 18 to be able to search for his missing friend (the blue scarf‘s a reminder/glorified friendship bracelet). But then started realizing a) he‘s most likely dead by now, and b) actually genuinely enjoys the whole merchant thing, decided to open up shop permanently. Still can’t quite let go though. Orphan from an orphanage doubling as a school focused on magic, which is how he met said dead friend (called Rhyme because the idea was both having names 1 letter away from being a herb as a parallel.) And like. That’s fiiiine I guess?

But the events between [hanging out together] to [Rhyme goes missing] to [Mage chills here now] are. SO BAD. At one point it was "boarding school is actually super shady because those with high magic potential regularly go missing while they pretend they just graduated/got adopted/decided to go away/etc., and Rhyme was the newest disappearance which makes no sense for his character so Mage went off to find out what’s going on“ to "the same thing but Mage actually found out that whole place is super shady“ spiced with "he‘s now in this country because he‘s actually from across the border so they won’t search for him“ to "the only reason they’re not coming after him is because they think he‘s dead“. And all of these have variations where the whole place burned to the ground after the basement exploded (leading to them thinking he‘s dead). And ALSO that shady business might be connected to whatever the heck is going on with Violet‘s lore. So like. The whole thing is on ice now because idk if this is really anything worth using. Idk.

And then there’s her. As if Mage wasn’t bad enough, Violets lore was…messy. Really messy.

She’s royalty, got a lot of siblings, and what is essentially gifted child burnout. Also aforementioned magic (light in her case) is super high for her but kiiinda uncontrolled, which led to her pretty much exclusively being pushed to learn streamline it, but there’s never really been much progress. This part of the lore still seems ok right now. The problem is the actual backstory that led to "now“. Because as of right now, Violet is hanging out with the others, and therefore very much not where she should be, at all. And that’s where the mess is.

The original reason for her being with the rest of the gang rn was that she was once abducted 2 years ago so she could be sacrificed to bring forth the apocalypse, and met Red during her escape. (Spoiler: there isn’t some ancient god dragon sealed in her blood or whatever probably. Just got unusually high light magic reservoir, which, combined with her always being in the background, let to people believing there’s something going on with her that warrants that secrecy.) Recently, after another attack, decided that her being missing would be better, and broke out to search for Red and hide with her. So despite being. Royalty. She‘s deliberately not going back home as she‘s "more useful" if missing, so everyone is so focused on her that it keeps any trouble away from her family since everyone will be focused on getting to her instead. (It’s totally not also because she feels incredibly trapped and knows her being gone wouldn’t actually chance much for them. Absolutely not. It’s only out of usefulness.)

That one‘s got a variation where she was abducted twice- first time saved by Red, which is when they met, second time was what happened above with her breaking out herself, and directly lead into the whole "staying missing is better“ thing. In another alternative version, that og thing didn’t happen 2 years ago, but recently, so instead of "2y ago + recent event leads to her booking it“ that 2y ago becomes said recent event.

And I‘m also thinking of just throwing everything away and rebuilding it from the ground up, but the only thing I can really come up with rn is the "royalty that definitely shouldn’t be wandering around but their knight/guard/whatever (Red) is there so it’s cool“ trope. Also if I change the lore in that regard I‘d kinda have to redesign her again (or at least clean it up a bit?)

In any case, the only story beats I‘ve kinda got down are "was abducted, kicked ass, met Red during or on the road shortly after escape, [stuff], not going back to the castle because of [reasons], road-trip ensues“.

Also I might do urban fantasy and zombie apocalypse AU‘s. Idk.

As I Said, it’s REALLY long and REALLY bad. You can laugh, point out plotholes and cliches, whatever

And laugh some more. It’s cool, I understand, really XD

(Someone please help set this lore right/make some better ideas)

(Tough, thank you for reading it you actually made it through this? Holy shit?? That’s so much!?? Yea)

[bawkrya]

Uuuh something something flag (i want to hear about cdramas)

ok HI well you caught me at the most devastating time where im fixated on the worst of the three cdramas i rotate in my brain (or ginal sin again) LOL, im going to force yall to sit down and perceive my hyperspecific version of chi zhen (my girlfriend) in my brain

SO! if you have the patience take my essay length "summary" of OS/and how i perceive it to have more context for who chi zhen is and what he does

my transgender king. and NOT in the way u wld expect. chi zhen is like. Removed from a lot of things, but i think she esp wld be for LGBT stuff & similar topics. like he didnt know what a bisexual was until one of the girls at his club explained it to him removed. If you put this man through covid 2020 lockdown he would come out trans in some way which is WHAT I DO TO HIM!

ive kind of given her my gender which is no gender but in the opposite way where hes transfem vs me being transmasc. she still aligns with more masculine things but also sophie called him her 'favorite pretty girl' as a joke once and he had to sit down and dissect the feelings it put in his brain. i literally use she/her or he/him for her depending on what flows better with the sentence in my brain.

if i do commit to the rewrite though it wld be very very subplot that IS noted, but he literally wouldnt even have time to properly think about it in depth bc hes u know, trying to kill someone, someones trying to kill him, etc............ but also for the rewrite i am wanting to do 'spinoff' where i jst invest some writing into 'downtime' story for like. character development. Filler basically but its not being injected as to prevent the rewrite from getting too long bc I Promise You It Will.

2. going 2 go over this before my actual next point i wanted to go over but this mf has autism. he wears sunglasses p much everywhere & honestly jst seems like he has a sensitivity to light. the way he goes about certain social instances in the show. and i dont think we were shown Much of how she is in the courtroom but she very much seems to be a patterns sort of person when it comes to solving situations.

also i am autistic.

3. the actual thing iwanted to go over: herspecial interest is colognes/perfumes and he can identify a VERY good portion of such jst by smelling it. i literally dont know why this is wht i chose for him but hes Definitely like insanely prissy about personal hygiene and (covers the show with my hand) dresses herself well and i just think he shld have a cologne/perfume collection.

chi zhen doesnt really have too many REAL personal belongings, hes been in jail, where he lives is very purposely hidden so he doesnt really have an Option to keep many personal items. But. I think he wld have a pretty decent collection of different cologne/perfume. which is fueled when people give him such for birthdays/holidays

i dont think she wld specifically have a preference bc different perfumes suit different people, on top of different styles of perfumes and all that. ipersonally dont know enough abt perfumes to even go in depth for it but she would kno the intricacies. She would.

its not smth he like talks abt all the time bt by god u ask him one (1) thing related to it and it can turn into a good 45 minute conversation b4 she realizes whats happening and immediately goes :| BC IT GETS HIM EMBARRASSED ........... but he likes it a lot and of the ppl who kno abt her interest they usually ask her for suggestions on it bc she likes assigning certain scents 2 people. like a planned filler scene i got is based on her getting like really suddenly angry/antsy while trying to go over a case and its literally bc lu li unexpectedly changed colognes w/o saying anything and he fucking lectures him for it

but yeah um i thikn that is all i am goign to willingly post abt publicly for my hyperspecific hcs for this guy bc 4 some reason i think the cringe police will come and kill my ass if i go into anymore depth. i lvoe this mf so fucking much i want to dissect him like you would tear off a young branch from a tree and split its bark in order to see the stringy inside

[ropemp3]

the text i wrote is so cringe im killing myself 😭😭😭😭

[rabbitcoveredinmoss]

TRANS SOAP HEADCANONS

I SAW SOMEONE LIKE 2 MONTH AGOS ON TIKTOK SAY SOAP WAS TRANS AND I JUST-

AHH JUST YESS

Also me, the author(hi), i am trans

Being trans is so epic !! 

——————

Trans Soap Headcanons :3

▸Constantly shirtless on base, LOVES showing off his top surgery scars, Price would tell him to put on shirt on but he worries that would be transphobic 

▸He/Him or He/They

▸Price taught him how to shave

▸If anyone says something transphobic to Soap, him and the rest of the 141 and Laswell will hunt them down and the person will “mysteriously disappear”

▸Has tiny little trans flags all on his room

▸Gave Price a small trans flag once, he keeps it in his pen/pencil holder on his desk at all times

▸He can easily take care of himself but enjoys having the optional support from the rest of his team

▸Was very scared to come out at first, fumbling and stuttering on his words, talking very quiet, but when he finally got it everyone was quick to accept and comfort him

▸It took awhile for his voice to start dropping on T which made him quit dysphoric

▸Gaz tried his best to help with deep voice practices but he doesn’t really know what he’s doing in this situation. Just sat back and gave occasional thumbs up 😭 

▸When his voice did start dropping and he got voice cracks, Gaz would always playfully tease him about it

▸”Your man self is finally coming out!”

▸”There’s the man I like to hear!”

▸When he was on T long enough to start bottom growth, Price put him on a temporary work hold and Ghost was the main person to take care of him during that time

▸Constantly complaining about how much it hurt when he closed his legs to far

▸Used the T gel, a big wimp when it comes to needles and peeling sticky items off (he hairy)

▸Laswell was the one to offer supplying/first starting T, resulting in a very quick “YES” response from Soap 

▸Ghost helped him cut his hair short for the first time and Gaz currently helps him with it

▸Couldn’t wear a binder much before his surgery, would layer two sports bras on and many layers of baggy-ish under/shirts 

▸Would have to take his showers later at night, in the male shower room with Laswell on watch outside ( showering in the girls room made him dysphoric :[ 

▸Wearing his kilt does not make him dysphoria in the slightest, makes him proud more than anything

*SCOTLAND FOREVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

▸Def has Blahaj, sleeps with it every night he can

▸Very protective of trans kids >:( 

▸NOT a “uwu soft must protect trans boi”, He probs doesn’t even know what that means. But the thought of being seen as defenceless aggravates him. He just likes being soft sometimes in regards to his gender identity, don't be dense cissy

——————

Image credit: Me, I made it

I love being cringe omg

[odd-kid-42]

Taylor headcanons because curse you Freddie I love the weeb too much:

-He has braces. Not Invisalign because his mom knows he would never wear it. Braces. Color of the month based on whatever anime he is binging currently.

-He only knows non-anime related music from AMVs he has watched. He has attempted to make AMVs himself but is self-aware enough to know they look bad so he never posts them.

-Favorite anime genres in order are: seinen (bc he’s a Man Now at 15), shonen (nostalgia and the classics), mecha (bc it’s mecha?? Obviously), slice of life (bow to the great Hayao Miyazaki), isekai (shonen but magic isn’t his thing), ecchi (he’s a teenage boy who misunderstood 23andMe’s policy. It’s low on the list because plot > character design.), Avatar the Last Airbender (bc it’s not actually an anime, it’s a Western animation with themes like anime on the power of friendship but just because a bunch of people who don’t know anime liked it and thought it was anime... goes on for another ten minutes)

-In top three imaginings of meeting his father, there is: 1) Become powerful enough to reach him and learn the final piece of himself that has been missing (Naruto style), 2) At the last minute in a critical fight (but not the most important battle bc come on, character development!) his father saves him at the last moment and he has a training/emotional journey montage of developing. (If father dies after Taylor’s training concludes, bestowing his blessing on his development and journey, Taylor thinks it would be cool, like how scars seem cool when you ignore how a person gets them.), 3. Dad is dead but has this really cool legacy that people who knew him keeps commenting that he is fulfilling, and maybe he looks similar to him when he is doing cool things and their silhouettes align. Maybe also he appears in spirit or he finds a letter addressed to him praising him and instilling confidence when he needs it the most.

-Like Nick, like Glenn, he is left alone in the house often, but his mom always checks in on him no matter how late it is when she gets back from work. He is convinced he is the Man of the House and too old to have his mom kiss his forehead when he’s half-asleep in bed, but it is comforting to hear her come home.

-Sometimes he does change the locks and leave a lockpicking tool kit on the mat for her in hopes she will be forced to use them and have the skill, but he can only do so a rare few times because she doesn’t pick the lock. She just gets frustrated and grounds him when clearly she could learn!

-He thinks that, like most anime moms, she could be easily kidnapped, requiring him to rescue her, but also she would kill people barehanded if he was ever kidnapped, so it’s a toss-up.

-He wears Axe body spray and it smells so bad holy shit. He thinks he smells awesome, but Normal’s BO 🤝 his Axe: fight

-He wants to sleep on a floor mattress but his cringe mom insists he use the padded full sized mattress on the bed frame, urgh!

-He also wants a kotatsu so gdmn badly, and his mom is steadily becoming persuaded on the benefits of one.

-He is proudly working his way up to doing ten pushups in a row. The abs will surely follow.

[blockgamepirate]

Technoblade’s purpose in the political narrative of the Dream SMP

I can’t sleep so I decided to finally write the post I’ve been struggling with for literal months, except way more casual because I can’t be bothered anymore and also I’m sleep deprived.

So the thing is: to me the DSMP storyline has always been primarily political, probably because I was introduced to it through Wilbur who was definitely going for political, and also because I’m just generally interested in political narratives right now. Obviously I appreciate the character work and the personal relationship stuff, that’s what makes it more interesting than just dry allegory, but when it comes down to it, this story is about politics to me. So that’s the angle I’m going to approach it from.

Also not to spoil the conclusions here, but I’m an anarchist, that’s my lens.

(Obviously all of this is about rp from here on out unless otherwise specified)

Basically the situation as Techno joins the server is this: L'Manburg exists as an autonomous nation and is de facto independent although not officially recognised by the Dream SMP. The self-appointed president Wilbur Soot decides to hold an election and rig it in order to consolidate his power over the nation he founded and he gets his VP Tommyinnit to join in on the plan. Their scheme fails and they end up voted out instead. The new president, Schlatt, immediately establishes himself as an authoritarian figure and exiles Wilbur and Tommy.

A couple of points on what the election arc demonstrates:

1: the appearance of democracy can be used for distinctly undemocratic purposes.

2: even if the elections aren’t rigged, the electoral system could be massively flawed and end up favouring a party that in fact didn’t have the popular vote

3: even if the winning government (the coalition in this case) has the majority vote, that doesn’t guarantee that they’ll actually act according to the popular will.

4: the supporters of the losing parties basically just have to let the majority overrule their wishes, espcially since apparently L’Manburg doesn’t have an established role for an opposition, yikes. That’s actually a MAJOR oversight in the system but I’m not gonna go into that too much.

5: frankly as an anarchist I am just deeply cynical towards representative democracy, and just because you have a token appearance of choice and consent doesn’t mean that it isn’t a hierarchical and authoritarian system. And to be fair, from my point of view this applies even to so-called liberal democracies and progressive parties. Full disclosure: even if L'Manburg was the ideal example of a representative democracy (which it very much isn’t) I would still be opposed to it because I fundamentally do not believe in top down systems, even electoral ones.

6: despite all these flaws, all the characters seem to implicitly accept the electoral system as legitimate. There’s criticism against the actions of individual characters acting within the system, such as Quackity calling out Wilbur for trying to rig the election, but nobody is questioning the system itself.

So at this point I’m sitting there, watching all this go down, and thinking “man, this would be so much more bearable if there was an anarchist point of view being represented in the story.”

And hey, look who IMMEDIATELY SHOWS UP.

Okay, I’m not gonna lie, early installation Technoblade is not the best representation of anarchism. I was mostly rooting for him out of sheer contrarianism initially. I didn’t really even care if it would be another Killmonger/Magneto/Zaheer situation because I’m used to reading against the authorial intent when it comes to these things. Sometimes any representation is better than no representation, even with political ideologies. That’s not to say that him just straight up spouting this hobbesian notion of a “dog-eat-dog world” didn’t grate on me, obviously it did.

That kind of worldview of humanity needing authority in order to prevent chaos and conflict is literally antithetical to anarchism and is the favourite talking point of authoritarians, the least anarchist people there are. It’s literally what people use to argue AGAINST anarchism. I think it’s mostly because cc!Techno obviously wasn’t particularly educated on anarchist thought and was just basically having fun roleplaying with his friends at this point. Which is frustrating but fair enough I guess.

Cynical ideas about human nature are pretty deeply rooted in the mainstream, unfortunately, most people just consider it common sense. And like I said, it’s a huge talking point in the propaganda against anarchism.

(… even though in fact these arguments were originally used against proponents of representative democracy. Hobbes himself was very much a monarchist, the idea of letting normal people vote for their representatives would have been terrifying to him. Like surely the world would descent into a free-for-all war, all against all. Imagine letting commoners have OPINIONS, the horror.)

So yeah, that stuff was pretty ehhhhh. It was basically what I’d expected though: cc!Techno isn’t an anarchist and we just don’t get accurate representation from non-anarchists, ever. What I dared to hope was that Techno’s character would at least stay consistent about his opposition to ALL governments. I was pretty sure that he would, even though it seemed like the majority of the fandom at the time was convinced that he would switch over to Schlatt’s side or something. It would have been a really shitty twist, I would have ragequit immediately. I mean what would have been the entire point of his character then? He might as well have been a random mercenary. Why even have his character be an anarchist if you were just going to make him work for a government?

(ftr this is kinda my biggest problem with the Hypixel Skyblock revolution event lol, honestly I think that was a worse depiction of anarchism than early DSMP Technoblade. I mean the speech was good, but… still became a government official, tho. booooooooo, cringe)

And yes, I was rooting against L'Manburg, obviously, and I would have even if it had meant having to deal with another badly written anarchist villain character. I never understood why people saw L'Manburg as the good guys, they were nationalist and exclusionary and their whole existence was based on trying to scam people for money.

I mean they were definitely funny, they were great entertainers. I have no problems with people rooting for them because they’re fun to watch; I did that for a bit too. But people were starting to get really into the story and talk about Wilbur and Tommy, the corrupt politicians, and the country that literally excluded people based on nationality as the heroes, unironically, which was wild to me. And when Wilbur started his “villain arc” well: people called it a villain arc, as if he hadn’t been pretty much a bad guy from the beginning, constantly just out for money and power and taking advantage of the people around him and then pretending to be the victim when challenged. I mean yes he got worse, but I wouldn’t call it a villain arc, more like just a mental breakdown arc.

More importantly, to me L'Manburg represented so many things I hate about the status quo in real life, and seeing the fandom mostly unquestioningly accept it as good just pissed me off. Still pisses me off tbh. I mean, to be diplomatic I could say that I understand the emotional attachment and the way L'Manburg was built up mirrors a lot of how real nations are built and how they create a sense of patriotism out of symbols and a sense of honour and loyalty, and it’s actually really fascinating how it even works in a Minecraft roleplay. Says something about the human mind I guess. Doesn’t mean I have to like it though.

Anyway, I just wanted to see literally any kind of opposition to power, even if it had to come from a character that was unquestionably a villain, which I fully assumed Techno would be. Because political narratives so often just leave us out, or at best barely mention us. And even from a narrative point of view, adding an anarchist perspective to a political story just objectively broadens its scope and actually challenges people who are used to only arguing along the lines of conservative or liberal, welfare state or privatization, nationalism or multiculturalism, etc. Even if the original work dealt with it poorly, at least it would give me the excuse to rant about it on Tumblr, which is kinda why I revived my old Minecraft sideblog for this. (That and pig!Techno fanart.)

Also how can you have a story so fundamentally about power without its counterpoint: the rejection of power?

(Yes, Dream SMP as a whole is definitely a narrative about power, it’s a huge theme for Wilbur, Quackity, Dream, Eret and the Badlanders at least, as well as obviously the anarchist characters from the opposite direction.)

So yeah, the build up to November 16th for me was mainly about the anticipation for what Techno would do, how would Techno’s character respond to the seemingly inevitable formation of a new government. THAT was the point of interest for me, that was what I was the most invested in. Would we get an actual anarchist opposition as a new side to the conflict or would they just awkwardly drop that whole angle? Or even have him team up with Schlatt like a complete sellout? There was so much potential but I worried they might just waste it.

And I was right to worry since apparently in the original script Techno wasn’t supposed to do anything, he was just there to help fight Schlatt and witness the explosion along with everyone else.

And WOW that would have been so incredibly boring

Not even just from the political perspective, just talking about the narrative in general terms here: imagine November 16th without Techno’s plot points. Not only would it have been boring for Techno’s character but it would have been equally boring for basically everybody but Wilbur and Philza. An anticlimactic fight followed by a big explosion that pretty much everybody had seen coming already. Yes, the button room scene is dramatic and heartbreaking… for Wilbur and Phil. But nobody else was there to see it. For everybody else, it was just a big explosion. It would have been such a huge disservice to anyone watching the other POVs.

Techno’s intervention gave everyone an ACTUAL climactic fight, it allowed characters other than Wil and Phil to witness some actual drama happening and to participate in it, rather than just waiting around for the explosion, while also foreshadowing the explosion. Even better, it provoked SO MUCH discussion in the fandom AND gave a perfect hook for future conflicts to arise. Wilbur’s end was tragic but it was, at the time, final. L'Manburg would have still suffered a catastrophe but it would have been left with just the same exact antagonist as before: Dream.

And at this point Dream’s core goals had barely changed, just his approach was now different. Yes, that makes a difference for the plot, but it doesn’t really change much in terms of ideological conflict. Especially since there really isn’t that big of an ideological difference between Dream and Tommy, because arguably neither of them are particularly big on ideology in the first place, they just have conflicting goals and use different tactics to achieve those goals (well, the tactics aren’t always even that different *cough Spirit cough*).

Techno’s conflict with Tubbo and especially Quackity (and honestly most of the other characters in general) brings in so much more depth to the story, just by introducing another angle, not to even mention how much it brings to focus questions about power and violence. These are themes that exist in other characters’s storylines too but nowhere in the same way or as central as with Techno.

I’m getting kind of ahead of myself here, though.

The real twist of November 16th was the fact that Techno WASN’T a straight up villain, actually. It was a twist to me anyway, because with all my cynicism I just didn’t see it coming, I didn’t expect him to actually start making reasonable criticisms. I didn’t expect him to drop the hobbesian arguments entirely and start making points that actually sounded like anarchism.

I have to assume that cc!Techno must have seen some of the criticisms of his character and been inspired to adjust because the difference is pretty notable.

(Sidenote: I’m just forever kinda sad that Techno’s “I may seem like the villain here” monologue was cut from the video and most people never heard it.)

And I felt SO validated by the way, because it works so well in the story! Everyone is mostly content with the restoration of a status quo of some sort, Schlatt is gone, this is supposed to be the good ending, and then Techno calls them all out and turns the narrative around completely: This was just a coup d'état. This was just the previous political leadership retaking power by force. Why is everyone celebrating the same exact system that lead to Schlatt’s authoritarian rule in the first place?

What he does there is force the audience to question the narrative they’ve been presented so far, that they’ve accepted without a thought. It might not convince them, but they can’t just ignore it either.

Whatever you wanna say about the discourse around Techno on that day, in the ideological narrative THIS IS THE IMPORTANT PART. Not who betrayed who or when is political violence justified, that’s about personal relationships and morality and it’s mostly all more relevant to the aftermath than the event itself. In my opinion, the REAL point in the moment is that the characters and the audience were comfortable with the ending only to be presented with a completely new perspective on the events.

It also recontextualises the finale, including Wilbur’s actions! It’s a much more ambiguous end to the Pogtopia vs Manburg arc and to Wilbur’s original run as the head writer. Wilbur’s “even with Tubbo in charge I don’t think [that ‘special place’] can exist again” is vague enough to be dismissed as just part of his paranoia and internal conflict, but with Techno, there’s a concrete question: what if Tubbo, given the same powers as Schlatt, will turn out to be just a new Schlatt? And suddenly you have to wonder what Wilbur meant by his words too. And was all this foreshadowing something about L’Manburg’s future?

Okay I’ve only made it to November 16th and there’s so much more DSMP to talk about but the post is getting too long and I’m starting to lose my energy. Will I ever make a part two? No idea. But I’ll try.

Standard disclaimer: I’m not the spokesperson of anarchism, other anarchists might disagree with my reading

[atlabeth]

fever - sokka x reader

this has been sitting in my drafts half finished for 3 weeks so i thot it was prime time i actually finished it

this is kinda based off the song w dua lipa and angele so you can listen to that if you want

summary: sokka's convinced there's a mystery illness keeping you from focusing, but somehow he's completely oblivious that the only 'sick' you are is lovesick, and he's the reason you can't focus.

a/n: i have never written a sickfic. but this is like. a fake sick fic. its an idiots in love fic. i mean this is coming from mr "is he taller than me? is he better looking?" himself so. it makes sense. as usual, this is not proofread bc im a lazy mf

also im sorry for being vague with the calc but i was NOT about to do math during summer who do you think i am? ??

wc: 1.7k

warning(s): mentions of being sick and 🤢calculus 🤮 but otherwise tooth rotting fluff

-

How could the smartest man you knew be so, so incredibly stupid?

You thought that you were being obvious, so obviously that you were sure he knew. It was embarrassing how obvious you were.

You had met Sokka in your calculus class at the start of the new semester after you ended up sitting next to each other, and it wasn’t a stretch to say that you were immediately smitten. With eyes like the ocean and a face that had to have been crafted by the gods, you were almost too distracted to respond when he asked you for a pencil. But when he winked at you after giving his thanks, it only solidified what you had already suspected: you had known this man for all of five minutes, and you already had a crush on him.

Little did you know, it was going to turn into the most infuriating crush you had ever experienced.

You and Sokka became fast friends even though calculus was the only class you had together. Unfortunately, it was also something that you completely sucked at. Bad news, it was required for your major. Good news, Sokka was some sort of genius and offered to tutor you — Wednesdays in the library turned into a weekly occasion, and served as an opening for your calculus skills, your feelings for Sokka, and your exasperation to all grow stronger.

You normally weren’t someone to beat around the bush. If you started to like someone, you told them and dealt with whatever happened after, but something about Sokka just kept you from spilling your feelings outright. You knew that if he didn’t feel the same way, your relationship likely wouldn’t change, but there was still that tiny voice that said it’s better to stay like this in case things do go wrong — and this was the first time you listened to that voice. You simply valued your friendship too much.

But that didn’t mean you were going to be completely quiet about it — you hoped that if you did enough, he would be able to realize you liked him and do the whole process for you. A bit of a dim hope, but crushes make people do stupid things.

Things like bringing an extra coffee to every session, laughing at all his jokes (even the bad ones), sitting a little closer to him than usual, not dropping out of this wretched class so you could spend time together (it might’ve been required, but you still counted it). He didn’t make a point to object to anything, so you knew you weren’t making him uncomfortable — but you had concluded after nearly a whole semester of working and studying together that he was the most oblivious person in all of Ba Sing Se. He could teach you all kinds of formulas, but had no idea that you liked him. Grand.

Today was arguably the most important session out of any of them, seeing as your next class was the final, so it was only fitting that Sokka unknowingly made himself more interesting than any material you could’ve been working with. His arms were going to be the death of both you and your calc grade. You swore that the heat rushing to your cheeks was actually emanating off of you.

“Hey, Y/N!” Sokka grinned as he saw you and raised a hand in greeting, a sentiment you would’ve returned had it not been for the coffee cups in your hands. You settled for mirroring his grin and settled down in the seat across from him. You slid his coffee cup over, set your own down, then shrugged your bag off all before taking a seat.

“You ready to study ‘till your eyes bleed?” he asked, prompting a nervous laugh from you.

“You jest, but my eyes might actually start bleeding depending on how long we go,” you sighed. “There’s a reason I got an extra shot of espresso today.”

“Come on — by now you should know that you have nothing to worry about! I am the best teacher there is, and you got me all to yourself.”

Your eyes widened momentarily and you coughed, purposefully averting your gaze to give yourself some time to recover. Okay, he was going to make it really hard to focus today. “Let’s just get into it.”

He nodded and flipped open his notebook, beginning to talk as he rifled through his bag for a few extra things. “Okay, we’re just gonna start with going over the basics, then we’ll work our way up. There’s a couple practice problems on that page, so you can go ahead and answer those as a warmup.

You slid the notebook over in front of you and after approximately five seconds of looking at the first problem, found yourself studying Sokka rather than the material. Who could blame you? In the battle of cute tutor boy versus calculus, he was going to win every time.

He turned around and you immediately averted your eyes once again, trying to appear extremely involved, but you found that your mind was empty on anything to do with math. “Hey, uh— how do you do this first one? I’m totally blanking here.”

“We use limits in everything — this is actually something you’re really good at!” He studied you intensely and frowned. “Are you okay? Like, you’re not sick or anything, are you? You seem kinda out of it.”

You choked out a laugh and shook your head. “No, no — I’m fine. I guess I’m just a little tired.” As if to demonstrate your lie, you took a sip from your coffee and cringed internally. Love had turned you into an idiot.

He seemed to buy it as he nodded and picked up the pencil, scribbling a couple of notes as he explained the first problem to you. “Does that make sense?” You nodded and he handed the pencil back to you. “Okay — the other ones follow the same kind of process. It should be easy enough.”

You managed to get a little further in the second problem, but your lovestruck mind would not stop focusing back on Sokka every time you tried to do, well, anything. Curse him and his perfect arms, and eyes, and hairstyle, and everything.

You shook your head and set the pencil down once more, letting loose a frustrated sigh. “I don’t know what’s gotten into me.” Yes, you did. “I just can’t focus at all.” Because of you. You picked up your cup once more and took a sip, hoping it would do something to get you back into the math state of mind.

Sokka frowned once more as he put the back of his hand against your forehead. “God, you’re hot.” You nearly choked on your coffee as your eyes practically bulged out of their sockets — he had to know what he was doing by now — how could he not? “Like, you’re completely burning up. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine, I swear— I just…” you set your cup down on the table and heaved a sigh that was a touch more exasperated than necessary. “Are you telling me you seriously haven’t noticed? Like, not a single thing this whole year?”

“I’ve noticed a lot of things this year,” he chuckled. “It’s kind of our whole job, so you’re gonna have to be a lot more specific.”

You finally couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Sokka, I’m not— I’m not sick! Haven’t you noticed that I’m only ever flustered, or running into things, or forgetting info, or— or just a complete idiot when I’m around you? I like you, like, a lot, and I have for an embarrassingly long time! The reason I can’t focus is because I am hopelessly attracted to you in every single way.”

His brows creased for a moment and you clamped your mouth shut, worried that you had just ruined everything. It was only after a pause that felt like a century that he finally responded, the hint of a smirk on his lips.

“Well, why didn’t you just say something?”

You stared at him, eyes wide and lips slightly parted in pure surprise before the annoyance set in. You set your jaw as your brows furrowed and you hit him lightly on the side of his arm with the back of your palm. “You can’t be serious! You— you’ve gotta be messing with me by now. I really can’t believe that you can be that smart but this oblivious!”

He finally let the grin play across his lips in full force and he shrugged nonchalantly. “I mean, I don’t know how you don’t expect me to mess with you when you scrunch up your face all cute like that every time you get mad. Besides, I started liking you after that fifth class; I offered to help you out so I could spend more time with you! I didn’t realize you felt the same way. I kinda just enjoyed the free coffee and getting to look at you all the time.”

“I can’t believe you!” you cried as you hit his other arm. “You’re telling me that I had to deal with this- this mental turmoil about whether you liked me back, while you were just enjoying the free eye candy and coffee the whole time?”

“You have nothing to worry about! I enjoyed the company far more than the coffee,” he joked, a certain twinkle in his eye. “But, you are probably out a couple twenties after all of that. So, what do you say about this Saturday, the cafe by the shoe store? My treat.”

“Damn right it’s your treat,” you shot back, though you couldn’t stop the smile forming on your face. “You owe me a lot — you have to make up for those coffees and all the emotional distress you caused.”

“Oh, I think I’ll have plenty of time to make up for lost time. After all, we do have a lot of coffee dates to get through.” And when he winked at you just like that first day, you remembered just how impossible it was to be angry at Sokka. “But first, we kinda have to get through this study date. The final’s still happening tomorrow.”

You responded with a raised brow. “This is a study date?”

Sokka shrugged and grinned. “They’ve all been study dates. You just didn’t know it.”

-

idiots in love idiots in love idiots In LOVe

perm tag list: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin @maruchan77

atla: @marianne1806

[sanchoyo]

so I decided to watch danny phantom. I got 3 episodes in and I have Thoughts. im not going to liveblog it necessarily, but just, maybe post my thoughts every 3-5 episodes? because, I have thoughts. (which im sure are not NEW thoughts for dp fans, but, you know. new for me) Anyway. ep 1-3 Thoughts.

- the parents Suck. I love Jazz.

-dannys little 'actually i wanna be an astronaut :)' BABY. im adopting him and his sister. these parents suck so far lol jazz shouldnt have to deal with this and being the most responsible person in the house at age 16. HATE the 'absentminded idiot parents' trope SO much actually. it just makes me mad and makes me want to adopt these kids.

-sam...is so much like me at age 15. at least when I was having a vegan phase. not saying veganism isnt a legit thing or w/e but. my god. shes so Not Like Other Girls. lmfao. if she wanted to go to the dance, she shouldve just SAID so directly!! and I hated her just going up and being catty to Paulina for No Reason Other Than Jealousy UNPROVOKED!!! Like, if anything, the BOYS are the shallow ones, approaching Paulina based on nothing but her looks instead of getting to know her?? it would not have been shallow of her at all to turn them down, she has every right to.

-tbh the way the girls are written makes me cringe. they Deserve Better I think. anyway tbh if a girl came up to me being that rude,, im not saying paulina was RIGHT to lead danny on, but like. I can't be super mad at her for it...sam was bein. hm. rude. and in paulinas little teenager brain thought that was the fastest way to get back at her I guess, by taking the guy she may or may not be crushing on?? I just hate unnecessary rivalry between girls in shows. anyway. glad she did attempt to apologize near the end anyway. I do get that a lot of kids shows have the protags being shitty to teach a moral lesson later and show them apologizing. it still rubbed me the wrong way.

-Was also rolling my eyes at Sam's 'the gorilla needs to be FREE!!' like girl realistically if theres two left,, itll be a huge poaching target, its better to keep it with professionals so it can lead a long, healthy enriched life, and so we can have a lot of footage to teach future generations about so we at least have the memory/history preserved as well as possible! zoos and nature preserves and such can be good. focus on, idk, taking down sea world or smth. (also, the fact it turned out to be a girl gorilla,, and no one noticed until Danny got An Eyeful...of course it would have to be. you cant just tell kids watching this show that theres two male gorillas and theyll DIE FOREVER AND GO EXTINCT AFTER THAT. I GUESS??? but showing danny possessing people is fine. gotcha)

-I liked skulkers design A Lot. it (funnily enough with the episode involving an actual gorilla-) reminded me of the way the gorillaz band got drawn early on. I think its the eyes.

-the voice actor for the box ghost sounded SO familiar. so I went to his IMBD originally thinking he HAD to be a voice actor on ed edd n eddy. THIS GUY HAS VOICE ACTED IN EVERY CARTOON I GREW UP WITH. SO MANY CARTOONS AND ANIMATED MOVIES. funnily enough he was in ed edd n eddy like i thought but in a very very minor role of one of the parents?? I think I just assumed he had to have voiced something I used to watch a lot of. actually, hes voice acted everything, ever. and has been since the 80s, and still does today. Crazy. https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0667326/ LOOK AT THIS MAN'S TALENT.

-box ghost has the right idea tho. I wanna haunt a fed ex truck and get that rush of Open Packages Serotonin for my whole afterlife. king shit. (I also just love very silly villains and this show is checking boxes for me. love the monster of the week format stuff)

-did valerie actually cancel on tucker,, or did the boys just lie to take sam to the dance. that seems so unfair to val but we never SAW unless I was looking away. valerie u deserve a date sweetie i am SO sorry. if u already made a commitment to valerie I think sam can take HERSELF TBH. she wanted to be passive aggressive about the dance, it couldve been a lesson in 'just say what you want and dont expect your friends to be mindreaders' lol

-'boys hugging makes every year book funny' TOP 10 SAM HOMOPHOBIC MOMENTS?? let them cuddle while they nap girl wtf. I KNOOOW I know this is how a lot of cartoons were written in the early 2000s but I hate it.

-tucker being freaked out by the cute ghost girl wanting to dance with him at the dance?? no sir. you WANTED A GIRL TO WANT TO DANCE WITH YOU!! and your best friend is half ghost!! tucker top ten ghostphobic moments!!! (also, her having a dragon amulet is a BONUS. coward)

-danny can just. possess people. ALRIGHT! casually terrifying. love that.

[the-blind-geisha]

you're so right with that pandemic thing. i swear i had my moments when i thought it was 2023 and not 2022 lel.

living in demiurge tag sounds amazing, ngl. and, honestly, im not surprised you're trying to put his character into your original work. man, this gives me some very good memories, haha. good luck with that! i mean, based on what you were doing with your oc in ac era, im sure you gonna do amazing in here too! <3

glad to hear that. not about that anemia part, that can go and suck something. but yeah, thanks a lot, dear. ngl i feel guilty about this (or more like cringing) so, really, thanks a lot. it means a lot too! <3

Yuri Alpha has so little time to develop too, just like Albedo and Demiurge </3 but i know what you're feeling. my fav one is Sebas (funny how he and Demiurge aren't on friendly terms) and yeah. i mean, he had some time but it doesn't feel enough for me. or maybe, i just wanna see Tuare again. I absolutely love her too. I watched a few episodes of the new season and it's amazing! like you said, they really raised the quality (flashbacks from these sheep? from previous season). and yeah, the movie! man, i think it's time to reread the light novels.

that's really so sweet, I mean, oh my goooooooood. so, so, sweet! i need to confess tho, i was never really interested in final fantasy nor i can imagine myself getting and being active in overlord fandom. to be honest, i'm here just for you. our contact was cut but i've been thinking about you, how you've been and all that stuff. after all it was thanks to you that i started writing too and met people i still talk to. it sounds so silly, but i own you a lot. that's why i want to check in on you, from time to time <3

i was honestly surprised you got back on the blog that had ac content. but hey, no matter where you are and which blog you're using, you're still the same wonderful creator from these years ago <3. and i gotta check (reread!) the fall series cuz the dilf addiction is stronger in me than ever. also, damn, those names of your stories bring back memories too. but dunno why, i find myself missing the one about jacob wooing the reader? anyway, i just want to say: take your time. if you decide to post your fanfics again, that's great. if you decide to never post your fanfics again, that's great too! don't feel pressured, alright? no matter what. yes, im sure a lot of people would love to reread these fanfics again, but they have no right to pressure you to post them. those are your fanfics and it's completely your choice if you want to release them to the world again or to let them rot on your hard drive. (send them to a happy farm kekekek)

oh my! that's wonderful! i mean, he's your character, after all. so, i'd be nice to bring him back. loving the idea of werewolf au (it kind of reminds me of his ability to turn into a horse) but still, no pressure, alright?

omg that's honestly so nice! but also, hm. alright then, since im that person, then, hiya Oreana, thank you for all the fanfics, love letters, rp responds you have blessed us with. it was truly such a pleasant journey. but i should also say: thanks for writing that one love letter. i actually requested it during a school's party, my mood was absolutely low but your letter lifted it. <3

don't worry about the folks (me) not finding you! we (me) have our methods ("hackerman" methods)

it's always great to hear from you too, Oreana! <3 - P

(i need to say that cuz yeah. ehem... HOLY EFF look how long the asks can be now! that's so effing cool! i remember how limited you were when i firstly got on tumblr, so that's so effing awesome. so effing awesome for someone who loves to talk a lot. like me yaay!)

Mawwr, thank you, hon! That means a lot!

Haha, don't worry about the anemia part. XD I have taken iron pills on and off to where I'm becoming a functioning person again. And, seriously. Don't worry about anything negative between us that may have happened in the past. ♥♥

LOL I love the whole dynamic between Sebas and Demiurge. I'll admit I was so confused during the scene where Demiurge was fighting to get Tuare on his farm having not read the LNs or Manga and forced to go right into the show. X”D I thought maybe Demiurge randomly cared about her out of nowhere and the two were silently fighting over what she should do for Nazarick. Then I realized he just wanted to torture the poor girl...and that the sheep were actually humans. My whole world turned upside down, I tell you! X”D Out of context Overlord scenes are awesome... lmao.

Ooh, you started writing? That's awesome! I am so happy I could inspire that! ;^; One of my main reasons for writing is to try and inspire/encourage others. So that makes me insanely happy. ;~; Of course, hon. You can always check in on me whenever you like! Heck, I feel during this time I get nervous about all the people I'm close to or even the readers I miss. I just hope they're all doing well.

It was more to feel safe, and also, people kept following me here. X3 So I just decided to return to it. ♥

You're so dang, sweet. T^T Aww, thank you?? That's so kind of you to say!

Jacob wooing the reader? You mean the one that spawned a mini-story after I did the first love letter of its kind for a late V-Day drabble? An old friend of mine created a whole aesthetic for it...I think I have it still. I do! ♥

I know he took the reader out on a date and all that and it caused some Romeo and Juliet drama, as she was a Blighter, I believe.

♥♥♥ Thank you for that. I can't tell you how guilty I felt deleting the stories. I never do go delete happy, but oof. I was just beyond repair. The only positive out of that craziness was I grew a stronger backbone, but I don't know at what cost. X3; Still, thanks!

My word...the fact you remember even that—Emmett being able to turn into a horse because his mom was Oreana in another AU of mine—is amazing. O_O; I actually almost forgot it! That is...beyond flattering?? Thank you so dang much! T~T

Thank you, hon. Just...Thank you... I'm like, almost a sobbing mess of happiness right now. I can't tell you how lovely this message is to receive. ♥♥♥ I am so happy that love letter you received has brought you joy and it came during a good time for you. It is wonderful to know my writings came during the perfect time for some folks.

(Yeah you can practically send novels. XDD Works for whenever someone wants to send a RP post, I guess!)

[fa-headhoncho]

Untitled TFATWS Fic: Part 4

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Prompt: You raid the Flag Smasher's base with Walker and Hoskins, bringing back unwanted memories.

Word Count: 2701 (sorry lol)

Reader: Female

Warning: non-con kissing, nudity, blood

Author's Note: lmk for taglist

Masterlist

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

=====

“Ich habe keine Ahnug, wovon du sprichst.” The man sternly says, taking a step to size up Hoskins. “Ihr Amerikaner seid brutal geworden.” He insults causing you to tense, but in a way you knew he was right and it frustrated you. The GRC had good intentions but they didn’t understand what these people were going through.

Hell, you didn’t understand what they were going through. When Steve and the Avengers took you in, it wasn’t exactly a bad situation compared to what others had to deal with during the Blip. Especially with the ones who came back to nothing to their name anymore. The volunteer work made you realize that and it conflicted you. The Flag Smashers had a worthy cause and they were banding together in the wrong way.

“Bullshit. That’s bullshit!” Walker whines out causing you to tense. The tone wasn’t nice and you knew the three of you didn’t come all the way to Germany for nothing. He was getting angry, there was something here and something he had to prove. “We know she came through here. Now, where’d she go?” He demands, his voice threatening.

The man directs his attention to the Captain and looks him up and down. Walker’s stance straightens and you can see his fist balled at his sides. Over the short time of getting to know the new Captain America, you could tell he was falling apart a bit in this situation. Honestly, he wasn’t the worse guy when it came down to the bare bones of things but power can do wonders to a corrupt mind.

Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise when the German fellow spits on America’s new golden boy. The blonde lets out a sigh, showing he was physically restraining himself to jump on the guy. He looks over his shoulder at you, his eyes narrowing and his head tilted towards the target. The look was the familiar that made your mind flashback to the countless times a Hydra official gave the same look.

Mind going into autopilot, the boys separate like they’ve done these a million times. You stalk forward and brace your forearm, shoving the man back and holding him against the pillar behind him.

“Do you know who I am?” Walker screams out from behind you making you snap back to reality. You immediately release him and step back, the blonde taking your spot in front of him with a threatening gaze.

“Yes I do, and I don’t care.” The man spits back and you see a shift in Walker’s eyes. There was a flash of hurt then it switched to frustration, quickly regaining his facade, blocking out any emotion in his eyes. He leans forward slightly and you think he’s about to punch the guy but he steps back.

The officers start to cuff the man while Walker whispers something to Hoskins and then walks away. You watched with a dazed expression on your face, not believing you fell back into your old ways so quickly with just one gaze. There was a part of you still stuck in your past that you didn’t know about until Walker had you join him in this assignment. It frightened you.

A gentle hand rests on your shoulder bringing you out of your negative thoughts. Looking up, you see Hoskin’s kind eyes. “You okay?” He asks in a sincere tone which slightly surprises you. The little voice in the back of your head told you that it was just him trying to manipulate you like they used to and that it was their fault that you were back into all this however a much louder one says otherwise.

You shake your head, forcing a tight-lipped smile to appear on your face. “Yea,” You breathe out and slowly repeat the mantra your therapist had taught you years ago. He stands there for a moment, the internal battle in his mind playing in his eyes.

“I know this isn’t the ideal situation for you but we really do appreciate your help.” His grip on your shoulder tightens in a comforting manner. “I understand Walker hasn’t been the… kindest to you and I can’t apologize for him. He’s still figuring this stuff out, I promise he isn’t always this much of an asshole.”

You nod, letting his words sink in. You never thought how much stress this could be on him. He went from a normal life to being thrown into this hero thing with the title and responsibility Steve took years to build up. It was a lot for him and he didn’t need you reminding him of what he wasn’t.

Hoskins notices your demeanor change and releases a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He takes his hand off of you and takes a glance toward the hallway where his best friend left then to his left where all the Flag Smashers computers laid out unattended. “I heard you’re pretty good with intel.”

You let out an ironic chuckle, of course, he chose his moment to bring that up. “You had to ruin it.” An apologetic look comes across his face and you wave it off, knowing that it’s time to get back to the task at hand. “Go after your boyfriend, I’ll see what I can do.”

He rolls his eyes at your comment before jogging off to follow Walker. A small smile sneaks its way onto your lips as you watch him leave. It was nice to get an insight on Walker and have a little banter with Hoskins. It made you relax, feeling that you were no longer a hostage in a pretend game of hero.

The police officers around you start collecting what minimal things were in the Flag Smasher’s base. They grab the files in the cabinets, the food they have in the other room, and they even grab the goddamn chairs. They weren’t leaving any stone unturned when it came to this and you understood why... this was Walker’s first mission leading as Captain America and he wasn’t going to mess it up. Your heart goes out to him but that didn’t mean you liked him.

You hold up a hand to the man in uniform as he goes to take the laptop, signaing that you wanted to use it. He nods in understanding and moves to collect other objects. Plopping down on the metal chair, you turn and start typing away.

=====

The room was luxurious like the rest of the mansion. The walls were high, windows extending from the floor to ceiling, giving a breathtaking view of the landscape behind the home. It was a bedroom, a large California king against the wall opposite of the windows. A large desk with a dramatic-looking chair sat near the bathroom causes an evil smile to appear.

“Here it is.” The American turns around while holding his arms out.

“Wunderschön.” You respond, forcing an astonished look on your face. The dark-haired man furrows his eyebrows in response. “Uh… very pretty.” You pretend to struggle with your English to keep up the persona your file had described. He gleams at the compliment and moves to close the distance between the two of you.

He slips his hand around your waist, pressing his body against your scantily clad one. You wanted nothing more than to push him off and slit his throat but your bosses would be punish you for not following the mission orders. Especially when he starts trailing kisses down your neck.

You throw your head back and allow him access though. The kisses and nips were numb on your skin as you lazily trail your eyes around the room. The black dress left no room to hide anything so that meant anything pointy had to be disgusted in your purse… which was left on the dresser next to the closed door. You inwardly cringe at your mistake, saving it in the back of your head for future undercover missions.

There was no chance to lead him back to the entrance so you had to think fast. Gently pushing the man away, he doesn’t take the hint to get off of you and attaches his lips to yours. Your eyes widen in surprise but you quickly recover.

He tasted like whiskey and cigarettes and it made your stomach turn. Finally, he pulls away and you take the opportunity to look up at him through your lashes. That was enough for him to start fiddling with the zipper on your back. You let out an airy giggle at the way he struggles with it.

“Here.” You turn around and pull your long hair over your shoulder to give him better access. He hums out and starts to pull the metal tag down. Mind trailing off again, your eyes land on the laptop on his desk. The object of the whole reason why you were here.

The mission assigned was simple since it was your first undercover mission for Hydra. They thought you would be a good candidate considering you were young and “perky” in their words. Having no other choice than to compromise, they dressed you up and gave an identity to play as to get close enough to take the information off the computer.

Your breath hitches in your throat when you see a glimmer of light bounce off something in the corner of the room. The man paid no mind to it as it was a coincidence to your dress hitting the floor and the cold A/C of the room hitting your skin. You squint your eyes and try to make out the figure but it’s interrupted by the man spinning you around and throwing you onto the bed.

You stare wide eyed up at the man while he stands above you. A feeling of fear courses through your body at the thought of what’s about to come. The original plan was to sneak off with the target and tranq him but you fucked it up. The boss was going to have your ass if you didn’t figure out a way to get to that laptop.

You didn’t want to do anything further with this sleazeball but you also didn’t want to starve for the next few days. Closing your eyes, you wait for it all the happen. You’ve endured worse at the hands of Hydra so this would sadly come easy for you to block out.

A loud gunshot rings through the room and you feel something warm splatter across your body. Your eyes snap open in a panic to figure out what just happened. The man who was once hovering over you is now lying on the floor with a bullet in his head, blood pooling underneath him. Slowly, your gaze trails up to your own body causing your breath the hitch in your throat once again. Dots of blood litter your skin and undergarments which only meant--

“Are you okay?” A raspy voice calls out, one that you’ve never heard before. A piece of cloth comes into view, the metal hand attached to it surprises you. The Soldier has never shown this type of kindness to you, well anyone, before and it made you nervous. You hesitantly grab the wet cloth from him and start wiping the blood off of your body.

His stare was directed on the floor to give you some type of privacy. It was weird that the Soldier was showing you such care that you didn’t even think could be possible. You knew of his story, a brainwashed POW victim that was programmed to kill. But here he was, waiting patiently for you with your dress in his hand.

Once cleaned up, you stand up and bump into him. His head turns to you causing you to melt instead of flinching away like you usually would. His piercing blue eyes send a shiver down your spine. There was emotion in them. Concern.

Carefully, you reach out and place a hand on the metal appendage. The Soldier’s body immediately relaxes under the foreign soft touch. “Thank you, Soldat.” You whisper out, fearing that any hostility would send him back to his murderous state. Something flashes behind his eyes as he nods in response.

You wake up with a gasp, blankets are long forgotten on the floor. Your chest was heaving up and down as you try to compose yourself from the memory that forced itself into your dream. It’s been a while since you had a nightmare and you were confused. Maybe going back into the field wasn’t good for you. It was bringing back the part of you that you worked so hard to get past.

The abrupt sound of a phone ringing makes you flinch. You reach around blindly until your hand feels the cool touch of your phone laying on the bed next to you. Not even looking at the screen, you slide the green bubble and bring it up to your cheek.

“Hello?” You answer, cringing at how weak you sound.

“(Y/N).”

You close your eyes and release a deep breath, your body physically relaxing at the familiar voice. “Yea, what’s up, Buck?”

“We haven’t heard from you all day, we were wondering how this morning went. Did you find anything?” His tone was soft and steady in contrast to the bustling of the environment behind him.

You shake your head and bring your hand up to run it through your messy hair, “No, not of importance. I went through their laptop but most of the significant information was remotely deleted or something… Found the files but not the documents.” You shrug and fall back onto the pillows behind you. His hum is followed by comfortable silence… until you hear someone whine in the background.

“Are you gonna talk to her or are you gonna sit there like lovesick teen-- Hey, not with the metal arm!” Sam is cut off with what you assume is Bucky slapping him. You giggle at the sound of metal hitting concrete. “Jesus, man, you’re crazy.”

“I won’t miss next time.” Bucky threatens with his teeth clenched, you can imagine him pointing his finger at him with a scowl on his face. The silence resumes while you stare at the lamp on the bedside table. “Are you okay? You’re oddly quiet.”

You hesitate for a moment, your dream flashing in your head. “Yea.” You softly confess, “Just had a weird dream.”

He waits for you to elaborate, knowing you would do the same for him.

“Hydra.”

“Oh,” He lets out a breath and takes a few moments before continuing, “I’ve been having some of those too.” He admits, “More than usual, I guess. Being back out here is triggering some memories and not the normal ones.”

A sense of relief washes over you at his confession. Knowing he was going through the same thing sends a pang to your heart but it was a good thing to know you weren’t alone.

“Well, I have to head out. We have a possible led and we need to check it out before it’s too late.” Bucky announces, you frown. It was nice to be able to talk over the phone with him even though you saw him recently and you didn’t want it to end. “Text me if you need anything, doll, I’m only a message away.”

Butterflies erupt in your stomach at his nickname for you. “Same for you, Buck… Be careful.”

“When am I not careful?” He chuckles out, you can hear Sam snort and mumble something in the background. “I didn’t ask you, Wilson.”

“Just, please, be safe.” You beg, you knew the two didn’t have any restraints and would do whatever it took to get the information they needed. Sam has broken the law for him once and you’re sure he would do it again for a good cause. “I…” You hesitate for a second, the words you wanted to say didn’t come out. “I don’t know what I would do if something bad happened to you…”

“Don’t worry about me, doll.” He tries to calm your nerves but there’s a twinge of nervousness in his tone that makes you uneasy. “I promise.”

_____

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